is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
