i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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