Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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