end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize