You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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