How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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