i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
