You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Randomize
