you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
