That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
