She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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