I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
