how can u be prego again
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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