Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
