I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
