Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
