My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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