I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
FUCK WHALES
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