It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
