So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
