Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
