i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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