Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
