As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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