Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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