Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
