whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
