I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
