hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
pray to the hookup gods
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
