You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
