new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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