I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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