Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
