She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize