i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
In other news, I just burned my penis
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
