the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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