sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
