how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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