so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
