He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
