She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
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