I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
