and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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