she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
