Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
