Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
