so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
