Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?

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(612): View more from Minnesota

is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.

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(917): View more from New York City

There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar

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(817): View more from Texas

Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka

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(815): View more from Illinois

Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS

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(516): View more from New York

Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull

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