If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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