just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
