K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize