Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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