you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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