I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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