you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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