Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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