If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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