Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"

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(240): View more from Maryland

Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.

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(219): View more from Indiana

my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note

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(704): View more from North Carolina

The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!

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(701): View more from North Dakota

he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party

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(805): View more from California

How are they?

(310): View more from California

Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!

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