I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
