Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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