The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
