I just saw a hot homeless man
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
