he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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