All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
