What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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