I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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