You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
